Vegas Seven

The Latest Gossip

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    Tweets of the Week

    By Marvin Lucas

    @VegasDegenerate One of my favorite things is seeing tourists run like maniacs to see the Bellagio fountain show and get to the rail just as it ends. @DoucheLarue Monopoly gets major makeover—yeah, now when you buy property, it loses half its value after you pass “go” three times.

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    Tweets of the Week

    By Marvin Lucas

    @jack “Says here he leaves behind a wife, two children, and forty-seven Twitter followers.” @DoubleBird I was going to ask @DangerGuerrero to be my internet boyfriend but then I saw that he uses twitter for Blackberry. Let’s just be friends. @xBieberHeart_ It’s Valentine’s Day for people who are in a relationship, but it’s Single Awareness Day for those who aren’t.

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    No Iron Bar Hilton for Mars

    Singer Bruno Mars—born Peter Hernandez—will duck jail time stemming from a Sept. 19 arrest for possession of cocaine. That’s when, following a show, a bathroom attendant at the Hard Rock Hotel told security he saw someone in the john with a bag of white powder, a bag that the arrest report said contained 2.6 grams of cocaine.

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    Tweets of the Week

    By Marvin Lucas

    @capricecrane If you’re talking on your cell phone in a public bathroom, I will flush the toilet over and over so your friend knows exactly where you are. @VegasWaitress It was slow in the casino tonight, I saw a hooker pay her pimp from the ATM machine. @TrainedHedonist I could pay to see Bristol Palin speak. I could also pay Mario Batali to strip down to a thong and sing “Strangers in the Night.”

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    Spray-tan Meatheads Unite!

    Comedian Nick Kroll debuted his Comedy Central special Thank You Very Cool on Jan. 29, a day after he was hosting at Moon in character as Bobby Bottleservice, and two days after he was originally scheduled to do a stint at the club.

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    DJ Slash?

    Tao brought the rock Jan. 28, and the rock owns several pairs of leather pants. Guitar-beast Slash hosted for the evening after opening for Ozzy Osbourne earlier in the night at Mandalay Bay Events Center. He rolled in with wife Perla and a crew that included Laura Croft of Holly’s World.

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    Flavor Flav’s Flavor

    Flavor Flav is opening a chicken shack in Clinton, Iowa, and promises not to be an absentee owner. The Public Enemy hypeman says, “You’re going to catch me in there seasoning up my chicken, flouring up my chicken, frying up my chicken.” Because who doesn’t want a former crack addict manhandling their chicken? (Answer: People who’ve never worked in the restaurant business and are blissfully unaware of the stuff that goes on in kitchens.)

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    And Justice for Some

    Former Tryst and XS managing partner Cy Waits faces a felony charge of being under the influence of marijuana stemming from the Aug. 27 arrest outside Wynn that also got Paris Hilton into her purse-or-no-purse cocaine shenanigans. There were also two misdemeanor charges filed: possession of marijuana and driving under the influence of a controlled substance. If convicted, Waits could face four years in prison. He’s due back in court Feb. 17.

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    Busting Into Song

    Glee took down its second straight Golden Globe for Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy on Jan. 16. The cast took almost a whole week to get out here to celebrate. There must have been a Make-A-Wish kid who desperately needed to hear an a cappella “Don’t Stop Believing” somewhere that slowed them down.

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    Blinded by Science

    Everyone loves to complain that the clubs are full of spray-tanned meatheads and fake-boobed dingbats. Well, bringing the IQ average on the Strip up for the year: Stephen Hawking. The physicist and stone-cold … whatever the science equivalent of a rock star would be … was at Tao for dinner Jan. 23. Either he was there to bring the smarts up, or Hawking was at Tao to straight-up bust moves all night long. And when that guy brings it on the dance floor, he can do it on the quantum level in non-Euclidean space. You just got served—by science.

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    Tweets of the Week

    By Marvin Lucas

    @cindygallop1 My Breakfast Companion had the definitive Vegas Night To Forget. The good news is that the Hustler Club found his phone. @StephenAtHome American Idol is back, and I love the two new judges–Jennifer Lopez and the elf from “Dark Crystal.” @rosscott Your body may be a temple. Mine is a cookie jar and coffee house.

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    The Say It’s Ray’s Birthday

    VH1 reality fixture Ray J marked his 30th on Jan. 15 at Pure the way everyone wishes they could celebrate their birthday—in a tux, with one true-life sibling and one man everyone in the world wishes were their older brother.

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    The Hills Is Alive

    Once upon a time, the flood of The Hills stars into Vegas nightclubs was a mighty, thundering wave. Now, it’s merely a trickle. Still, Kristin Cavallari soldiered on—just not, oddly enough, at Soldier Field. Cavallari was here Jan. 15 to celebrate her birthday at The Bank just a day before her boyfriend, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, racked up four touchdowns to lead Chicago past the Seattle Seahawks.

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    Miss Underage America

    One girl who won’t be partying in the clubs anytime soon is the newly minted Miss America, Teresa Scanlan. She’s the 17-year-old Miss Nebraska who edged out Miss Arkansas, Alyse Eady, and Miss Hawaii, Jalee Fuselier, for the roses at Planet Hollywood. She’s old enough to be Miss America but can’t vote. And not even just because she’s a woman, the way the Constitution intended. She can’t even buy cigarettes. How is a girl supposed to survive in the world of competitive pageantry and modeling without Marlboro Lights?

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    Tweets of the Week

    By Marvin Lucas

    @ItsEyeris U know you’re in a gay bar when people play the Glee version of songs on the jukebox. @NovaKabala Best thing about Hustler Vegas is my girl Va JJ from Baltimore dances here now. She does the robot on stage and everything. @aceofsocal Flight home is 150 bucks cheaper if I stay an extra night in Vegas. But how much money will I blow by staying that extra night?

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